Elust 39

Photo courtesy of Ava Grace

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #40? Start with the newly updated rules, come back September 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ Top 3 ~

Never Pinch a Sadist: 50 Shades of Plaid - If you don't know kink, don't feel pressured into it. If you wonder what it is about, join Fetlife and find local event to teach you about it.

Collars & closure & owning myself - there is triumph in realizing that your paths are diverging, repacking your shit, and moving on with dignity and respect.

The Quarry - We agreed to meet up on the weekend and go out to the quarry. It was an old, flooded quarry. I didn’t know it, but the queers had taken it over.

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

The Pussy Pride Project

~ e[lust] Editress ~

"I can't orgasm without a vibrator" So What? - Embrace it. Bring it in to your partnered sex life. Be happy that you can achieve orgasm whatever way that works for you.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Writing

A Guest for Dinner
A Beautiful Need
A Purring Machine
A Hard Man is Good to Find
Chlorine Kisses
In a different world
I Crave You!
Lolita Twenty-Twelve, Part Four
Mojo Back
My 69th Orgasm
Owned Part 4
Sensual room service
Summertime
Tease Me
Travelling
The Space Between
The Text
The Wicked Wench of Wupert Stweet
The Desk of Power
Use Me
What I'm thinking about when I'm...
When Frederick Met Camille

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Living with an Alpha Sub
Make Her Cum
Restless
Swinging and safe sex
Talking with the Lights Off
The Promiscuous Bisexual
Why Do I Have More Respect For Men Than MRAs?
What not to do for anal sex
Wants, Needs & Poly
Wifi Sex?

Kink & Fetish

A Boot Scene
Consent as Torture
Mores and Behavior
Pursuit of Squirting
Playing With Lightning
Submissive men: A celebration of beauty
strapping on...my first time
Submission for a Femdom Facesitting Film
Steeped
rethinking warmup

Time-out: Growing-up Poly Part X

In my late teens—the time when, not so coincidentally, I became a mother— society won for a bit and I put my inner sexual/poly child in time-out. I basically decided that I was a slut and that I needed to change, and so I went into a period of celibacy that lasted for about five years. Yes, I know, I can hear the collective gasp—and I can’t believe it myself.

Okay, to be fair, I wasn’t completely celibate—maybe 90%. I went from being a girl who had sex whenever she felt like it, to a woman who successfully fought her natural urges—most of the time. For the first couple of years of this dark, dark period I indulged a few times—usually with a friend who would visit me on occasion and help me find new and interesting places in the Arizona desert to have sex—but for the last couple of years I went cold turkey.

This didn’t stop me from craving sex, of course, or from wanting something other than monogamy—I just came to see non-monogamy as something I would outgrow if I tried hard enough, and I thought I should stop having sex with men who didn’t have “I want to be with you and only you for a long time” potential. Of course I know now that no man, or woman, has that potential, but then I was still more than a little delusional.

I did eventually snap out of it, but not before spending an awful lot of time denying myself and my desires. It would be easy to look at this period as time wasted, but I don’t. I regret a couple of opportunities that I passed on, but I can’t regret the time itself because it was spent on intense self-reflection and exploration as I read, watched, and took the time to really learn about myself and what I needed. 

**This series originally appeared at  http://lookingthrough.us/

Growing-up Poly: Part I

Growing-up Poly: Part II

Growing-up Poly: Part III

Growing-up Poly: Part IV

Growing-up Poly: Part V

Growing-up Poly: Part VI

Growing-up Poly: Part VII

Growing-up Poly: Part VIII

Growing-up Poly: Part IX

Mores and behavior

It was commented to me recently that people coming into the BDSM and non-monogamy lifestyles have to learn a whole new set of mores—that the accepted modes of behavior are all just a little bit askew. I agree, to a point—yes, the sexuality is in hyper-drive and often on display—but I think that the basic ways of acting as a human being in other areas still apply regardless of the sexuality of the people involved.

It is to be expected that sexuality will be ramped up in a group of openly kinky people. It is not uncommon for me to go to a SMART Energy meeting, for example, and have a certain girl grope my breasts through my clothing, or to feel the sharp bite of a friendly top on my neck. These things would not happen in most other groups in which I am a member, but they are an accepted part of my particular kink culture.

On the other hand, there are things that aren’t acceptable no matter how kinky we are.

At a recent kink gathering a person made an offensive joke about gay men. In talking with A about it later, we talked about mores, and he commented that because of the nature of the group it is entirely possible that this person thought such a joke was appropriate. This is a concept I just cannot grasp—how on earth does someone not know that bigoted jokes are inappropriate?

I thought about this some more as I went to sleep, then even more when I woke up, and this is what I came to:

Yes, the mores are different, but basic humanity and participating in the world in a responsible way is not specific to non-kink situations—to suggest otherwise insults me as a thinking, kinky adult.

We are not especially enlightened human beings—we are just kinky. We are capable of being bigoted, racist, homophobic, misogynistic, and just plain ignorant and uninformed. Someone should not get a pass on that ignorance just because he or she likes to have their ass caned.

E lust 38

Photo courtesy of Lucy and Alex of A Couple of Wankers

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #39? Start with the newly updated rules, come back August 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ Top 3 ~

Wrong On Every Level - "If you wouldn’t ask them to borrow $20 bucks, how the fuck is it ok for you to ask them to fuck you? Oh right, it’s not."

Good Girl - "She nearly melted into me. When I finally released her, she exhaled–she had been holding her breath."

The Three Minute Game - "The timer went off and I breathed out, both a sigh of relief and disappointment that it was over."

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

Bitch- "I don’t let her run the show…but she’s always around. She’s in the background saying: Bullshit"

e[lust] Editress: Dangerous Lilly

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

Anticipation
Bondage Blowjob
Filling you up
Learn the rope of knots: Square knot
Public tease
Swinging in Paris
Switch: Between Dom & sub – A BDSM Interlude

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Porn and Masturbation Trifecta
Cathartic
Deal breakers
Deborah Sundahl’s Class & Female Ejaculation
How my pussy has changed
On Rejection
Outgrowing One-Nighters (At Least in Part)
The Good, the Bad, but Never the Ugly

Erotic Writing

4 O'clock in the Morning
At the Campsite
Brutal Passion
Cold Hot Cold
Empty
I want to spoil you
I'm a Bootlicker, and That's Okay
I'll Take Two Please!
In the Soft Morning Light
Lolita Twenty-Twelve
My orgasm
Parked
Preparation
Peter and Sophie on Holiday
Slow tease
Sodden Sheets
The Guide
The First Time Again
Week Night Sex