Friday, November 25, 2011

Out of the box

Recently I celebrated my birthday weekend (yes, I have an entire weekend. Okay, I actually have an entire week because I am just that damn special). Anyway…

I had planned the events of this weekend well in advance—the schedule was supposed to look like this:

Party on Friday night in Cleveland, sleep in Cleveland, drive to Toledo for energy meeting on Saturday, go from Toledo to Mayfield Heights for a party, sleep in Mayfield Heights, come home Sunday and have party with college friends.

Fairly simple—busy, but simple—and it would have all gone according to plan if I hadn’t met J and L and decided that plans are overrated.

On Friday night I went to the party as planned, and got lit on fire as planned, and had a great time as planned—but when I was finished playing I realized that the party was not where I wanted to be. It was going to be midnight, and officially my birthday, in just over an hour and I wanted to spend it with my new lovers—but they were more than an hour away in the opposite direction of Toledo and it made no sense whatsoever to go there.

Luckily, making sense is not generally a goal of mine, so I sent them a text:

“Theoretically—if I were to start driving and get to your house in just over an hour, would you be awake?”

The answer was yes, and I was able to celebrate my birthday in their bed.

The next night I was at the other party and I once again found myself where I didn’t really want to be—so once again I made the drive to be in my lovers’ bed by midnight.

This got me thinking about the boxes I wrote about some months ago in my former relationship. My time with my lover was so scheduled that I didn’t feel free to be spontaneous, or to even suggest time outside of our routine. I had a good time, and I enjoyed the energy we shared when we were together, but the box I was in did not allow me to feel as special as I need to feel.

Now I am in a relationship with people who, in their words, “can’t get enough of me,” and who answer when I call at completely inappropriate times and say I want to see you. We are all busy, so when we find time to be together we go for it. I don’t plan on making it a habit to show up at their house in the middle of the night—but it is nice to know that I can.


Jessica said...

Sounds like a great birthday weekend, and the start of a great relationship. Congrats all around!

Totally get where you are coming from, I need to know that that I can up someone spontaneously and talk or have fun. Obviously if they are busy they are busy, but if they aren't willing to arrange plans or just let me drop by and hang out on a whim, I feel they are more focused on controlling the relationship and our time together than on having a relationship. I know that isn't always the case, but it is how it feels.

Unknown said...

It was indeed great!

I need to feel passion both for and from the people I am with--boxes interfere with that passion. I work two jobs and go to school--so I do understand compartmentalization-- but I will usually put everything I ought to be doing aside, and forgo sleep, just to spend time with someone whom I've connected with--it is nice when those someones feel the same :-) said...

I love everything your way with words ... incidently, I happen to live in Toledo ... I returned after 30+ years of living out West ... I'm having a great time ... I grew up here, Kent State is my alma mater, and I was in Akron last month to see Todd Rundgren at the Civic Theatre ... and, I know Cleveland well too. Why did I return home after living away so long? For a woman, why else? LMAO ... Ive known her since 3rd grade.