Tuesday, November 24, 2015

I want to be your totally submissive little slut (sort of)

I want to submit completely. I want to indulge in that space with a person whom I trust with both my submission and my life. I want to lower all walls, let go of societal expectations, and escape into a world where he or she is my only responsibility. I want to exist only for pleasure, to be a servant, a fuck toy. I want to give up the ability to say no with a dominant who would never do anything to make me regret that decision.

The thing is, though, I only want to be that girl for a couple of days—tops.

I could never be that girl on a regular basis. If I tried I guarantee that either the dominant would die when my need to assert myself becomes a murderous impulse that I cannot deny—or I would die from the sheer effort of trying to contain it.

I am a service-oriented person in general, but this takes that to a whole new level—a level that is both slightly terrifying and exciting as hell. There is something wonderfully freeing about not having a say in the decision making process, and in having an existence that is so clearly, and rigidly, defined. There is something ridiculously hot about that definition consisting entirely of keeping the person whose dominance excites me happy. And there is something deep, and spiritual, and magical in having my focus entirely on that person as I submit, in existing in a space that has little to do with the outside world, or reality, or anything but the connection between us.

For this to happen, I have to go away from everything I know, every reminder of every day life, because if I am going to indulge to that degree I need a clear mental and physical separation between fantasy and reality. I need to be able to leave that girl behind so that I don’t get lost in her, because as nice as that space would be to visit, I am pretty sure I would not want to live there.

2 comments:

cammies on the floor said...

My dynamic is only sexually submissive, which is an odd switch because outside of the bedroom I am in control.
I can't live in that world 24/7, but I sure love to visit

Beauty's Punishment said...

It is hard to be "on" 24/7, especially if you are living together.