Hello—you—yes, you, the person speaking to my boyfriend. You know, that guy standing right next to me—the guy you are asking about whether or not you can come into my personal space. Yes, my space—not his—mine. So why exactly are you not speaking directly to me?
We are at a kink event so we must be power exchange, right? Well, no—but I am totally okay with the assumption that we are because, really, who cares? What I am not okay with are the assumptions that 1. Because I am female I must be submissive and 2. Being submissive, I am unable to speak for myself.
I does not matter if I identify as submissive or dominant, or somewhere in between--I have never given up being a thinking human being who is quite capable of answering a question about my own damn body.
The default should not be to ignore the female and ask the male you assume speaks for her—doing so treats her as someone with no identity of her own who only exists through her relationship to someone else.
If you want to hug me, ask me—if you want to play with me, ask me. If I am in a relationship that requires you to speak with someone else, I will tell you—please do not think that just because I am female and in a relationship that I have given up the right to be treated as an adult.
