Friday, February 14, 2014


Every relationship I have had in the past 15 years has been poly in one form or another, and I don’t generally hide that fact, so I have had to answer my fair share of questions. When non-poly people find out I am in a poly relationship the most frequently asked question is always “don’t you want a man of your own?” The answer is yes, sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t want to work my schedule around another woman. Sometimes I just want to see my man when I want to see him. Sometimes I just want emotional and logistical simplicity.

But—there is always a but—the thing is that I don’t really want monogamy. I prefer poly. If I were in a monogamous relationship I would, at some point, want to turn it poly. I would feel completely stifled in a monogamous relationship—maybe not right away, but it would happen. I just do not see long-term monogamy as a viable relationship option.

I still have to deal with “sometimes.”