Friday, October 21, 2011

A bit about crushes

I love crushes. I mean I really, really love them. I usually have a few, or a few dozen, going at any given time. I love them so much that my life feels a bit empty if they are not present because the energy they bring is definitely missed.

I have two types of crushes—there is the casual crush that is usually directed toward the guy I see across the commons at lunch or the girl who makes my tea at Starbucks. They are fun little in-the-moment bits of fantasy. Occasionally these crushes turn into friendships because when I am attracted to someone I usually find a way to speak with them. Sometimes the crush doesn’t survive the friendship, but every once in awhile it becomes something more—it grows up and becomes a full-fledged Crush.

A Crush is friendship with a side of possibility that need never be fulfilled. A Crush isn’t about sex, it is about feeling the energy coming off of someone and having it mesh so well with your own that you just know that this is something different—that this person will be special in your life, even if it is only for a short time.

At the moment I probably have a dozen or so crushes—including a few long standing ones on celebrities (David Tennant, anyone?) I also have several Crushes--one or two of which will probably exist as long as I do.

My C/crushes are not specific to gender or orientation, and they care nothing for age or physical appearance.  There are some basic traits that I could point to that make them more likely to occur, but I have crushed on men twenty years younger than me and men 30 years older. I have crushed on girls who feed me geeky puppy energy and butches who make me quiver. There is just no telling what part of a person is going to speak to me. I like it that way because it means that every new person I meet has Crush potential.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Personal Boundaries

Anyone who has seen me at a party knows that I am usually bouncy, and happy, and goofy--I am there to have a good time, and my inner Pixie is an attention whore, so unless I am engaged in activity, I am friendly, and flirty, and happy to touch and be touched. I do have at least one major personal boundary issue, however--the penis hug. I am instantly squicked when a man I have just met moves in, without permission, and proceeds to hug me with his WHOLE body.

I don't have a problem with most people, and I am not completely opposed to some form of physical contact with men I have just met. If I meet a man for the first time and he offers a quick hug I am good--I like contact, and I like the feel of another human being. What I have a problem with are those times when you can just feel the predatory energy coming off of someone--and rubbing your cock against my leg or hip during our first contact screams predatory.

The quickest way to pull a negative reaction from me is to be the type of man who invades my personal space before you have gotten to know me, or before I have indicated that such closeness is both allowed and welcomed. Most men that I meet at parties are respectful, and mindful of personal space, and do get permission before moving in, but every once in awhile a guy comes along who moves in and gets way too close in a way that is obviously meant to be manly, and intimidating, and make the subservient little woman in me quiver.

I am not entirely sure what the thinking is, but it is not "manly" to force a woman to back up to get away from you, nor is it sexy to have her skin crawl because a strange man is touching her in a way that is far too familiar.

This behavior will not get you laid (or respected, or even liked).