I run a discussion group which meets once a month to discuss
ethical non-monogamy, and I have been thinking lately about what that actually
means, and how hard it is to live up to sometimes. This was brought on by a
temptation that I faced recently which would have been unethical in several
different ways—none of which mattered in the moment. I would have gone ahead
and fucked the person I wanted to fuck if we had been in any kind of position
to make it happen, and in the weeks since this meeting I have had to fight
every single day to keep myself from putting us in that position.
A large part of me can’t but feel hypocritical, but I keep
trying to remind myself that I am human and more than capable of making
mistakes.
I also have to keep reminding myself that no matter how much
I want this person, and no matter how amazing the sex would be and feel, to be
non-ethical would feel much worse.
But—if we find ourselves in that position again, I, well, I
just don’t know.
2 comments:
Just my thoughts, but for this situation, with this person, to be unethical, then something is amiss in your other (or their other) relationship that for some reason this relationship can't be brought to light or is unapproved of by someone else.
I could be wrong, but that seems to be the situation I see the most. And which is usually the problem with veto powers.
It is very complicated--but yes, generally when there is a chance of it being unethical there is another involved. There are things that I can make public, and things which are better left being vague. This is most definitely the latter.
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