I want pain, but more than that I want connection--I want to feel the person topping me, to know them, to desire them, and to know that they desire me.
I want energy. I want my partner to be interested in the journey--not just the particular scene, but the combination of scenes that build on each other and create a comfortable, electrically charged space.
I want to look in her eyes and see the excitement she feels about what
she is going to do to me. I want to know what it means when she presses against me, and when she is silent, and when her breathing becomes ragged and her fingers dig into me.
I want him to understand what it means when he is hitting me and I reach for any part of his body to grip. I want him to ride the orgasm with me and share in the laughter that always follows. And I want him to know this will happen, and how to make it happen, and to revel in it.
I want experience, and shared history, and the freedom to dive into my masochism--to let go.