Friday, September 9, 2011

The end of the affair

My lover and I recently ended our year-long relationship. It is tempting when these things happen to look at the relationship as a failure, but I consider this relationship a success because we loved each other deeply--and we will continue to love each other on some level for the rest of our lives. We walked away as friends with a desire to maintain contact, active contact--when you are able to make that connection with someone it is never a failure.

In our year together I experienced things that I had only read about before--things that I didn't think were possible in my life--and I learned-about myself, polyamory, and relationships in general. I learned that...

My head has little say in what my heart wants.

I really enjoy the process of being tied.

I am absolutely polyamorous--I have no desire to have a monogamous relationship.

No matter how honest I think I am there is always a chance for more transparency.

I like ritual.

I can not only tolerate tickling, but with the right person I can actually enjoy it (to a point!)

I enjoy cooking.

I really can give up control in a scene.

Compersion is possible.

The definition of poly family is fluid and individual.

I have an inner Pixie.

Energy orgasms are fabulous.

I can always improve my communication skills.

Barbershop quartets are cool.

Twitter.

No matter how many emotional escape hatches I have in place, pain is pain.

This community can be very, very small.

There are many uses for a pair of pantyhose.

Age really is just a number.

I look fantastic in a leather corset.

Casual isn't really my thing.

I can want someone to be happy and be angry with them at the same time.

Avoiding topics just allows people to use their imaginations.

Ohio has wonderfully supportive kinky people.

The evil stick lives up to its name.

Love itself is never enough.

4 comments:

Bippy said...

I just found your blog thru Twitter. Your post is compelling and insightful. Thank you for sharing. Bippy

life's a journey, enjoy the ride said...

Wonderful post. We often focus on the pain of life unfolding, when we should instead be celebrating growth, wisdom, and love that are transformational within our lives. Than you for sharing.

jostaffordjr said...

Well said. Good on you for leaving the party with a bag full of good rather than a truckload of bad.

Literary Wench said...

Thank you. I can't pretend that every day is filled with shiny happy people holding hands, but I can't regret the year that we spent together.